Change Is Hard - She & Him

I would like just a little time for myself. Steal some. Steal cos I don't think it belongs to me anymore. Stop time, go watch (500) Days of Summer at a cinema. I'm struck by guilt everytime I sit to strum the guitar or sing a while. Even when I read the paper while I eat, I feel like I shouldn't be so selfish.

People think I'm overeacting but I'm not. If you could only see what I see. I'm sorry for neglecting all my other responsibilities, sorry if I haven't been a friend to my friends. But I'm barely me to myself anymore. Everything's changed.

But I have this strong conviction in my heart. And I'm gonna say it. And I put all risk and what-ifs behind cos there's just no time for this anymore.

He's gonna be healed.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honour him.

With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Psalm 91:15, 16

Hope - Jack Johnson

believe is cruel
hope is a killer
when
when things
when things go awry
so bad u feel it like heat bottled in your throat

but when it soars it soars
like no other could lift you higher

i am only human
you are God
and you know why
i do not

just please, please this time.

Help! - The Beatles

It's not a competition but somehow it always ends up feeling like one to me.
How Long Can You Last Before You Reach Your Breakdown Point.
It's stupid when you don't even have competitors in your competition.
But I always race.
I have quite a record.
Beats me who I'm trying to outdo.

Don't worry, this is not breakdown point.
It's just that I've been skimming the surface of sleep, had really strong coffee and scorched 78% of my taste buds to death.

Somewhere In The Middle - Dishwalla

Things you do for passion are consistent once you start. But things you do because they provide therapy are only done when you need it.

I went for a jog today. Today was particularly hard. Dad was down with fever and was experiencing nausea. And I was wondering what "being strong" meant during days like these. Surely the strength I needed to get through was far less compared to him. I would never really know the extent of pain he's going through.

Which brings me to the issue of providing comfort for people who are going through tough times. What do you do. What do you say. How do you act. I've never been any good with comforting people but at least now I have some sort of inkling.

1. Never keep silent.
Even "just listening" requires a little talking. Don't completely disappear, drop off the radar, as a friend. Even if you don't have hallmark phrases, just drop a text message or email or whatever remote way you can think of to just let the person know you're thinking about them. It helps.

2. Offer to help.
Take the initiative to ask if they need anything. They might not have requests straight away, but at least they know who they can turn to if ever a need arises.

I have these people to thank for educating me:

• Saravanan for calling just to ask how I am every once in a while.

• Ee Ling for showing her concern although I always try to change the subject.

• Eng Hong for his random text messasge.

• My grand-uncle for bringing a thermometer and panadol over today. And for always offering to get our groceries.

• Aunty Grace for homemade chapatis.

There are a lot more people to thank, I'll save it for the next post.

In Your Hands - Charlie Winston

You know why this can happen? Because we're kosher enough for 'em. Bands that don't play hard rock generally are perceived that way. One thing, though. I don't like people adding commas to my sentences; what more changing the meaning of it.

Obsessed? Yes, I am.

Rong says I sound dumb when I answer my own questions. She clearly doesn't understand the delicate usage of Hypophora (yes, I just googled that), doesn't she?

No, she doesn't.

Halfways have been inactive, I know. I hate it too.

Three Cool Cats - The Coasters

This is a super sexy feline noir shortfilm narrated by Nick Cave. The narration is done in a form of a poem with words so slick it makes you slip into some hypnosis. And Nick Cave, Nick Cave and that voice of his! He sloshes it like fine wine in a glass. Man, I miss admiring words and how seductive they can be.



Long ago my city’s luminous heart, beat with the song of four thousand cats.
Crooners who shone in the moonlight mimicry of the spotlight.
Jazz singers. Hip cats that went ‘Scat!’
Buskers with open-mouthed hats hungry for a feed.
Parlours paraded purring glamorous songstresses.
Smoky hookahs and smoking hookers.
Strays strummed string and sung a cocktail of cat’s tails.
A decadent party of meowing sound.
A bohemian behemoth, post-midnight soiree.

[Excerpt from the film, written by Eddie White]
for whole poem, click here.

Sweet Nuthin' - Bry Webb & Casey Mecija

Here's what I copied from Monet, as mentioned a few posts back. It was my first real assignment when I started my Art & Design course in A-levels and pretty much a full-on blasphemy to his work (Oh Monet, don't turn in your grave, dead man aren't supposed to).

And apparently my sunflowers show how passive aggressive I am, whatever that means. It's probably rotting in the college's Art room right now as we speak. I've always meant to go back and get it but my laziness gets the better of me, as always.

Chromewaves offers legal mp3 downloads and they are as beautiful as this.